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about
When I was 24 years old, not too long after graduating CalArts, I wrote this song on my ukulele. I was working 60 hours a week at two public service jobs in fear of not being able to afford living in California; the dreaded boomeranging to Kansas City. I didn’t take big risks for my music career because I had no safety net and I was mentally unstable. I did, however, continue to do free composition and sound design for CalArt students ONTOP of my full work schedule that year in the hopes that doing so would generate more opportunities. It kind of did, but not enough to create an obvious path. That’s OK.
I sang this song at ALMOST every singer-songwriter set I played but as years passed, it got harder and harder to add to the list because no matter how much I grew, I still felt I was at that same spot at age 24. And I knew that several people shared this kind of feeling; people I knew with greater talent, discipline, and drive struggling to get where they wanted to be. Knowing that sometimes it really is luck or money.
I’ve always loved this song. I love it so much and that’s why it’s taken me 7 years to release it because I knew I wouldn’t be able to reach its full potential unless I REALLY REALLY tried for it. I could have reached out. I could have asked for funding. But I didn’t want to put other people into my black hole of perfectionism (which is something I have done before). So all instruments here are VST plugins, production is by me, and I’m OK with how it is knowing it’s not perfect. It just needs to be out now.
I’m much happier in my life now than I was then. I wouldn’t change anything that’s happened these past seven years. As always, I’m grateful to the friends and the people who have helped me stay in Los Angeles.
Thank you so much for reading. Thank you so much for listening.
<3
lyrics
VERSE
After a falling out with destiny
I’ve fallen in line with mediocrity
Left to restlessness and what’s easy
After tedium’s done with me
PRECHORUS
And while the world is getting smaller
I don’t see me growing taller
I get obscured and insecure
Kids these days are getting smarter
I can see them working harder
I have got to find my cure
Someone tell me to be reassured
CHORUS
Everything is fine
Gotta give yourself some time
Everything is fine
Stop worrying your mind
But nothing’s new or true
To what I wanna do
But everything is fine
Everything is fine
Were they the right steps?
Did I do my best?
Will I, will I
ever get to rest?
VERSE
Never thought that I would get this far
I’m gonna finish what I started
Yes I know it shouldn’t be that hard
But will it leave me broken hearted?
PRECHORUS
Put myself in situations
I don’t know how to escape from
Sometimes I wait to be saved
Right above the grading curve
Did I earn what I deserve?
I feel so lost and lame
Someone tell me to be not ashamed
(instrumental break)
CHORUS
Everything is fine
Gotta give yourself some time
Everything is fine
Stop worrying your mind
But nothing’s new or true
To what I wanna do
But everything is fine
Everything is fine
Were they the right steps?
Did I do my best?
Will I, will I
ever get to rest?
Rest
Rest
credits
released January 28, 2022
Photo by Lauren Sego (2015)
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